Search

TshegoFatso

My blog. My life. My opinions.

My Hurt

This hurt is different

This hurt is present

This hurt won’t go away but feels like it wants to escape

It’s banging, forcefully knocking, wanting to cause damage

This hurt wants to be felt

It wants to be acknowledged

It wants to be dealt with

But I just do not know how to

I am trapped

I cannot open the door

I do not know how to let it out

I do not know where to take it

 

This hurt is mine

This hurt demands my presence

It’s forcing me to be there, to be present, to feel it, to acknowledge it.

I will own up

 

 

 

Advertisements

Open Letter: Sexual Liberation Is About Dignity Not “Sluttiness”

Asaase Yaa Mma

Dear World,

Open LetterEven if you believe pre-marital sex to be immoral for religious reasons, there is no denying that women in particular are treated cruelly for falling short of this standard. I have had a hard time convincing moderate, conservative, and religious Ghanaian women to shun a sexual double standard that praises men for sex, yet degrades women for exerting sexual agency. I have failed in part because my personality does not appeal to the sensibilities of many Ghanaian women.Striving to emulate a British Victorian construct of a “lady”, many Ghanaian women abhor women feminists such as myself. They say we are crude, vulgar, and that no man will marry us. Even with justice on our minds, a well “trained” Ghanaian woman will refuse to listen to the content of feminist messages as the presentation of such a message is not dressed with “lady-like” language. If women find our reputation…

View original post 942 more words

Saving Yourself For Marriage: Examining Women’s Inferior Right To Body Ownership

Asaase Yaa Mma

newRegrettably this post exclusively focuses on sexual autonomy in a heterosexual context. The idea of “saving yourself for marriage” is a patriarchal concept that stifles women’s sexual autonomy. Even worse, “saving yourself for marriage” places women’s right to bodily ownership into men’s hands. Utilizing concepts from American Legal Jurisprudence, this essay argues that while men are given absolute ownership of their bodies, women are given the inferior possessory right of inhabitancy, rather than ownership of their bodies.

If patriarchy is a war on women, then patriarchy’s most powerful military base is in a woman’s mind. And patriarchy does an excellent job of convincing women to accept sexist value systems that justify men’s domination and women’s subjugation. I myself have had to work to rid my psyche of internalized sexist ideas. Growing up, I was a quintessential patriarchal princess; and I wanted so badly to have worth and to be a…

View original post 1,585 more words

the Entlilement

Male sexual entitlement is the belief that men are owed sex on account of their maleness.

Society normalizes this message. It’s a message that’s embedded in a lot of casual phrases about sex, including ones about men being put in the “friend zone” for being “nice guys”, women “giving up” sex, and men “getting pussy.”

Cis male entitlement is embedded in everything in society—our interpersonal relationships, work dynamics, pop culture, media, education system, and so on.

But the truth is, no one is ever owed sex – not when they’re nice, not when they’re domineering, not when they’re manipulative, not when they’re attractive, and definitely not just because they’re a man.

No one is owed sex – not when they pay for drinks, not when they open doors, not when they help you out, not when they are being nice, and definitely not just because they’re a man.

We ignore these misogynistic red flags because misogyny is so normalized. After all, boys will be boys, right? And so, when a huge act of body terrorism is committed against women, we refuse to take a step back and examine the roots of the issue. Instead, we lament the tragedy as unforeseeable and incomprehensible .

Equally inevitably and often, the discussion turns to victim blaming. Articles will debate whether or not women should lie about having a significant other, whether or not women should watch their drinks, talk to strangers, be kind to people.Whether or not women should wear long skirts and hide their thighs, whether or not women should not go out at night, walk alone, reply to catcalling.Whether or not women should speak out their minds when it comes to issues that concern them, their bodies and their security.

The burden should not be on women. Women should have the unmistakable right to say no. Women should have absolute dominion over their own bodies. Women should not, as I have so many times, apologize for rejecting a man. Women should not have to explain themselves. Women should not dress for the comfort of society, women should dress for their own comfort. Women should not have to avoid certain paths in the fear of men.

If you really want to wipe out rape culture , you need to understand how male sexual entitlement negatively impacts everyone, men included. If you really want to wipe out rape culture , you need to address the male sexual entitlement. If you really want to wipe out rape culture , you need to have discussions about how the female body is just that. If you really want to wipe out rape culture , you need to have discussions to hear women out. If you really want to wipe out rape culture , you need to stop having campaigns that promote rape culture.If you really want to wipe out rape culture , you need CHECK YOURSELF.

We ignore these misogynistic red flags because misogyny is so normalized. After all, boys will be boys, right? And so, when a huge act of body terrorism is committed against women, we refuse to take a step back and examine the roots of the issue. Instead, we lament the tragedy as unforeseeable and unfathomable.

Women spend their lives marginalized by the entitlement of cis men. We spend our entire lives explaining the “NO”. We spend our lives in fear, fearing the men in the streets, fearing the men in our lives, fearing the men in our offices, fearing the men who are meant to protect us, fearing the men whose blood runs through our veins. We belong to ourselves – This has to stop! This has to stop and we do not owe anyone any explanation.

Men are not owed access to women’s bodies, no matter what. Men are not entitled to sex with women, no matter what. Men are not entitled to any woman’s body, affection, time, or conversation—no matter what. It does not matter who she is—a stranger on the street, the love of his life, an ex-girlfriend, or an ex-wife. Even in relationships, male entitlement is violent. Relationships—of any kind—do not automatically mean consent. There is no such thing as implicit consent. In cis heterosexual relationships, it is considered the duty of women to “please their men.” This is simply another form of misogyny. It does not matter if she flirted with him, accepted a drink from him, accepted a dinner date from him, or married him. None of this constitutes consent or the obligation to consent.

The consequences of privileged entitlement are dangerous. Women should be allowed to feel suspicious, to refuse, to exclude whomever from their personal space. Women do not owe anyone any chances. Why are entitled men so shocked by this? Statistically, women risk their bodies and breaths just speaking to them.

Check yourself.Check yourself.Check yourself.Check yourself.Check yourself.Check yourself. And Check yourself.some more.

If at any point in time you believe you are owed sex for any reason —including being a decent human being — you are thinking in terms of sexual entitlement.

Also, avoid viewing a woman’s role in sex as totally passive. Women are capable of orgasms, horniness, and sexual fantasy, even though women are traditionally stereotyped as having absent  sexualities. Be aware of boundaries and respect them. Hear a women out when they say no. Respect it when a women tells you to stop and do not ask why, it does not concern you why they want to stop.

 

 

In memory of Thomas Isidore Noel Sankara, The Upright Man: 27 quotes on Women’s liberation and the African freedom struggle

thegatvolblogger

Thomas Sankara The Upright Man: Captain Thomas Isidore Sankara

Captain Thomas Isidore Noel Sankara is the late Burkinabe military captain, Marxist revolutionary, Pan African theorist and the President of Burkina Faso from 1983 to 1987. He is more popularly known as The Upright Man. He was born on the 21st of December 1949 in Yako, Burkina Faso.

He rose to power through a popular revolution or coup in what was known as Upper Volta in West Africa. He was only 33 at the time. His goal was the socioeconomic and political transformation of his nation, eliminating corruption, oppression, exploitation and dominance of France, the former colonial power.

He renamed Upper Volta and called the new country Burkina Faso  which literally means Land of Upright Man, hence his popular moniker.

Sankara is remembered for some of the most ambitious and successful programmes for social and economic change he implemented when he came to…

View original post 1,784 more words

Some men feel entitled to a woman’s body, they feel that they own it.

They know it as theirs. That they can do to it as they please. They can touch and squeeze and comment because it is their birth right to do so. They walk around shaming women everyday. They walk around assaulting women everywhere. They go around making women of every race and every color uncomfortable in their own skin.

Ever had someone “own” a part of you?

Ever had someone “claim” what is yours?

Someone “do” as the “please” with what is yours?

It dehumanizes you.

It breaks you.

It breaks all the walls you thought you had. It shatters all that you have worked had to build. It can be a small thing to others but big to you. It bruises your ego. It takes away your pride. It takes away your voice, your say.

It brings tears and questions and “I should haves”. It leaves you vulnerable.

It is the worst thing to have someone feel entitled to you.

Rape charges against Mahmood Farooqui

Kente Cloth

Kente_2

Kente cloth, known as Nwentom in Akan, is a type of silk and cotton fabric made of interwoven cloth strips and is native to the Akan ethnic group of South Ghana.

Kente cloth has its origin with the Ashanti Kingdom, and was adopted by people in Ivory Coast and many other West African counties. It is an Akan royal and sacred cloth worn only in times of extreme importance and was the cloth of kings. Over time, the use of Kente became more widespread. However, its importance has                                                                                       remained and it is held in high esteem with Akans.

Meanings of the colors in Kente cloth:

  • Black—maturation,intensified spiritual energy
  • Blue—peacefulness, harmony and love
  • Green—vegetation, planting, harvesting, growth, spiritual renewal
  • Gold—royalty, wealth, high status, glory, spiritual purity
  • Grey—healing and cleansing rituals;
  • Maroon—the color of mother earth; associated with healing
  • Pink—associated with the female essence of life; a mild, gentKente 1le aspect of red
  • Purple—assoc. with feminine aspects of life; usually worn by women
  • Red—political and spiritual moods; bloodshed; sacrificial rites and death.
  • Silver—serenity, purity, joy; assoc. with the moon
  • White—purification, sanctification rites and festive occasions
  • Yellow—preciousness, royalty, wealth, fertility, beauty.

source: Wikipedia

10 THINGS I WANT SAY TO A BLACK WOMAN Joshua Bennett

Phroetiq.com

I’d first like to say all women are beautiful from every
nationality. This is nothing against any other nationality.

1. I wish I could put your voice in jar, wait for those lonely winter nights when I forget what God sounds like, run to the nearest maximum security prison and open it. Watch the notes that bounce off the walls like ricocheted bullets, punching keyholes into the sternums of every brother in the room, skeletons opening, rose blossom beautiful to remind you that the way to a black man’s heart is not through his stomach, it is through the heaven in your ‘hello’; the echo of unborn galaxies that pounces forth from your vocal cords, that melts ice grills
into oceans, baptizing our lips, and so harsh words fade from our memories, and we forget why we stopped calling you
divine in the first place.
2. When I was born my mother’s smile was so bright, it knocked the air…

View original post 590 more words

Wounded Heart

A Louder Mind

Photography by: BusiDh Photography by: BusiDh

View original post

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑